Milkman
by thehoundsfox
Summary: for Riku life was full of not so pleasant suprizes new chapter up!
1. Selphie's wish

**- I wasn't sleeping again and then I thought of this story! It is really random but I think it will get normal or as normal as it can possibly be and there may be some unusual parings so yeah review and tell me parings ideas or opinions! I really appreciated it (good reviews or bad) and I will love you so much.**

**-This is set on Destiny Island and there is another island where all the houses are located and then there is an island where all the shops are located. Right now they are on the play island**

**Milkboy-

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**

**Chapter 1**

A boy with chocolate hair stood in the sand with a chestnut haired girl. It was a fine day to be out on the beach and everyone couldn't be happier. The sun was setting soon and it was about 6:00. The girl wore a yellow dress that rested above her knees and the boy wore a pair of red shorts with a blue t-shirt that had the Nike symbol on the front of the shirt and on the back it had the words SWIM in big lettering. Both of their hair seemed to defy gravity because the stood up in their own little way. Selphie's hair seemed to flip out at the bottom making her hair loop upward and Sora's hair stood up in everyway. No two hair chunks stayed in the same direction.

These too friends were bored, lost in their own thoughts. Sora's blue eyes seemed to brighten as they stood their longer and longer. Selphie drew in the sand with a twig as her emerald orbs glistened with curiosity. They were best friends well as best of friends two could be when they were boy girl and they were both 15 years old making some moments awkward. Although neither have thought of it, they really found themselves to be just friends, well for now.

"I wish the milk man would deliver my milk in the morning"

"Selphie are you okay? Did you hit your head or somthin?"

"No seriously I do!"

"Why?"

"Uh err because I just do! And the milk will be err fresh"

"Selphie is it the milkman?"

"Maybe"

"You like the milk man!"

"So!"

"Dude all the milk mans I know are like 40! Selphie likes a 40 year old man who looks like Michel Jackson!"

"NO I DON"T"

"Yeah you do!"

"No the milkman I like isn't a man…he's a boy at least that's what I hope!"

"Okay then why did you say that he was a milkman?"

"Fine ill call him Milkboy"

"Selphie you are so weird"

"That's why you all love me!"

All of a sudden a 15-year-old crimson haired girl snuck up behind the two and pushed Sora, sending him flying into a sand castle that Zell was making. Zell angry that his precious hot dog was crushed smacked Sora and left to find a safer place to build sandcastles. Dumfounded Sora turned around and yelled at the girl that had pushed him

"Kari! WTF"

"Sorry Sora just had to do it! Yeah Selphie Namine is waiting for us at her house"

"Okay bye Sora"

"Have fun at your little "girly sleep over"" (Sora does the bunny ears to over exaggerate the Girly sleep over)

"Your just jealous that you can't come!"

"No I'm not! Cause I am sleeping over at Tidus's house with Wakka"

"Have fun! Well call you "

"Bye"

So the girls left Sora with one last wave and rowed away on their rowboats. Sora walked over to the wooden tree house that the guys had made and found Wakka and Tidus duke it out on another sword match. Like always Tidus won and Wakka pouted for about 5 minutes before shaking it off.

"What are you doing here ya?"

"Nothing really"

"Nothing sounds like something" Wakka's face tensened as Sora shifted uneasily.

To be honest with you Sora never really was too good of friends with Wakka. He usually scared him or ever worse…smacks him in the back of the head with a blitz ball.

"Haha I'm just kidding you ya so can you come to Tidus's?"

"I'm right here ya know"

Tidus ruffled Sora's hair as Sora gave his cheesy grin to the guys. It was he, Tidus and Wakka together for a weekend. Tidus agreed to let the two over and now ahead of them was pranking the girls house and video games, little did they know there would be a couple of changes made.

"Sora what house are Yuffie Namine Kari and Selphie staying at?"

"Namine's"

"Perfect they live next door we are going to get them so bad tonight"

"Yeah"

"Come on ya? We got to get ready before they start preparing"

The three walked to the dock and boated to Tidus's house, the little blue house that was next to the large purple mansion, aka Namine's house.

This was fun for all of the guys even though they were 15. They had done this to the girls for over 6 years and they weren't going to quit yet. The prank calls, stink bombs and even sometimes going into the girls room while there are sleeping and put shaving crème on their hands.

When they arrived to his house the boys set their stuff down and got ready for work. Just as Sora filled up the last water balloon filled with oatmeal the phone rang

**At Namine's house**

Yuffie waited on the phone as Selphie jumped rope as Namine drew Kari. After a few more rings Sora answered the phone

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Yuffie"

"Hey You"

"You boys better not do any pranks tonight okay?"

"I can't promise anything"

"Please Sora! We have work to do "

"Oh?"

"Yeah we are catching Selphie a boy friend"

"What about Tidus? I though she liked him?"

Wakka and Tidus turned around as Sora said this. Wakka had a little bit of disappointment in his yellow eyes as Tidus had a look of surprise on his face. Sora chuckled to this.

So Wakka cares for Selphie…"

"Selphie over Tidus! Now please listen just what ever you do don't go by the front door!"

"Okay"

"Bye"

**Love you! -darkbluedarkblue **

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	2. playing guns

**Chapter 2

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**

Tidus's house

"C'mon guys we gotta go over to the girls place!"

"But Wakka! Dude! Yuffie told us not to, I think that they are ACTUALLY setting up a prank for someone instead of being the victim'

"Sora is that even possible?"

At this point all of the three boys stopped and thought of the girls actually doing a prank. After about 3 minutes Tidus finally spoke

"Nahhh they could never set up their own prank"

"Yeah man they probably just said that to make us not come over there, ya"

"But…."

"Come on Sora, since when were you so…UN cool?"

"Ya!"

"Wait I am so not UN cool! Hell I am fooly cooly!"

"O fooly cooly eh"

At this point Tidus and Sora started running around screaming fooly cooly as Wakka stared at them scratching his head

"And I thought I was crazy ya?"

5 minutes later

"I'm tired Sora can we stop this?'

"FOOLY COOLY FOOLY COOLY"

"Wakka a little help here?"

"Sure thing ya!"

Wakka threw his Blitzball right into the back of Sora's head causing him to fall onto the ground.

"Okay so enough of fooly cooly, lets go over to the girls room!"

"What is fooly cooly?"

"A word Sora and I thought of when we were little while watching a TV show called FLCL"

"Oh WHY WASN'T I INVITED!"

Sora got out of his unconscince state and said

"Cause at that point it was to be said that red heads were gay so we didn't want to come over there cause we thought that you might molest us or-"

"Kill us for saying that" Tidus nodded his head as he interrupted Sora.

"Okay lets just pretend that I didn't hear that"

**

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At Namine's house

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**

"Is this the right room?"

"Looks like it"

Sora kicked around the four sleeping bags that were on the floor. One moaned as the other said in her sleep "soon milk man you will be mine" as she hugged the pillow

"Okay so now what?"

At this point the three boys just stood scratching the back of their heads trying to figure out what they should do. Unlike other times they never thought of what they were going to do to them. It took them a while until Tidus grabbed Kari's hand and put it over Namine's chest. He then put Namine's hands across Kari's chest so then it looked like they were hugging each other in a very suggestive way. Wakka, following Tidus perverted example, put Yuffie's legs around Selphie's waist and put Selphie's arms around Yufie's waist and made Yuffie lay on top of Selphie. Sora watched in horror as he saw the two friends turn into two perverted daemons. He had to get them to leave before they did any thing worse. He didn't want the girls to kill them or worse, Kari could call the mafia (his uncle is the main guy or godfather).

"Uhh you guy's?"

No answer except for a few chuckles coming from Wakka

"You guys you know what would be fun? Is if we want outside and played guns! Remember when we played it Tidus? It was so fun!"

"Great idea man this was kind of getting weird"

"Aww but I was going to get out my super glue! Oh well ya I really want to play guns so ok"

So the two fifteen year old boys left the house, and Wakka super glued Kari's hair to Namine's and then left the house to go into the streets to play the game.

Sora and Tidus walked down the stairs until Sora realized that the front door was booby-trapped.

"Wait Tidus we can't go out that way"

"Why not?"

"Cause the girls set up a trap in the front door."

"Oh lets go check out the girls so called 'trap' I bet its just a bottle of love juice that this person they want to catch to drink it so that he will fall in love with"

"Wakka! Come on and check this out"

"Ill be on my way, ya I just gotta finish this up"

"What are you doing up there?" Sora's eyes filled up with worry

"Nothing"

"Wow look this is a really good trap! I didn't know they were that good. I feel sorry for the poor guy who has to deal with this thing

* * *

**Riku's house**

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Riku awoke from his bed as his clock read 4:01. He got up slowly and rubbed his eyes. It was another day of delivering milk jugs to all of his neighbors once again so he could get enough money to keep the crappy roof he was living under. 

He lived with his best friends cloud and Leon because his parents had died making him entrusted to his step father who did not care about him but about the welfare he got so he left him on the streets where he met Leon and cloud. They were in the same situation, cloud ran away from his family and Leon left with cloud because he was miserably in love with him, so they all decided to try to earn enough money so they could live on their own.

This worked for about two years until Cloud got fired from his job for being under age for the job of working at a bar and for drinking while on the job until he passed out silly (he was only 14 when he applied for the job). Most of their income came from cloud's job so the money was cut short not including the amount of money that was lately being spent for Trojan condoms, although Riku never realized that they weren't for a friend like the two had told him. The three struggled harder to keep the 2-bed room house and the two cars they were once easily able to afford. Riku continued his job as working as a milkman and Leon worked as a worker at Taco Bell which hardly pays. As for cloud he searched for a job and went to school unlike the two because he was the only one that was heading for a bright future as a Surgeon or a millionaire that would let his friends mooch on him.

Riku, not waking Cloud or Leon, walked into their room and stole a t-shirt from Cloud. All of his clothes were dirty and he sleeps without a shirt and boxers making it impossible for him to go drive around in a milk truck shirtless, and pantless?. He could go wearing black sweats and a t-shirt though. He really didn't care the fact that it was mandatory for him to wear the white uniform, he was a rebel and besides he couldn't afford the white clad outfit. The silver haired teen pulled over the white t-shirt that had his Blitzball team in read and had all of their names in the back, Riku Cloud's and Leon's name in bold. He sighed and ran into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and took a quick shower to wake him up. As he was in the shower he sang in his sexy yet impersonation of Elvis Presley

"As the snow flies On a cold and gray Chicago morning', A poor little baby child is born In the ghetto And his mama cries 'cause if there's one thing that she don't need it's another hungry mouth to feed in the ghetto, in the ghetto (in the highest voice he could)  
People, don't you understand the child needs a helping hand or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day Take a look at you and me, are we too blind to see, do we simply turn our heads and look the other way"

After shagging out his hair (doesnt own a brush) he then grabbed a pair of red converse shoes and walked out of the door and into his white milk truck caring a few milk jugs, showing off his muscular arms.

He drove off and went to his first and favorite stop, old lady Stacy. There as promised was his batch of cookies. He grabbed them with delight as setting down the milk jug by her doorstep.

" I, I gave you the cookies, now give me back my cat!"

"Tisk, tisk, lady didn't you read the ransom note? It said that you also have to give cloud and Leon breakfast before you could get Mr. Whiskers back"

Yes holding an 89 year old's cat for food wasn't the best thing to do but hey they didn't have that much money and besides she wasn't the nicest lady in the world either. She one time actually called the police for a wild party that they were having just so that she could rest for her 87th birthday. Ever since then Riku has been getting back at that old hag in any way possible.

The next stop was at a large blue mansion were three kids were playing in the street. They looked his age maybe a little younger but Riku was a little puzzled.

'Since when did people my age play with tree branches?'

Riku didn't really like this stop because of the rich snotty girl that lived there. He never really met her, but he could tell that she was snotty because she always looked down on him while she drew the milk truck that he drove. Little did he know she drew him all the time and told all of her friends about him?

Riku got out of the car and walked over to the house to set down the milk jugs, but was stopped when a chestnut/blond hairied boy pointed his tree branch at him. his aqua blue eyes glistened as he held his tree branch and pointed it straight at Riku's chest.

"Freeze!"

Riku put his hand ups, like the tree branch could instantly kill himself by Sora shooting a splinter at him, as his blue boxers remained on his hips. Sora gawked at the man in awe as a light blush began to form over his cheeks. Wakka and Tidus continued to shoot at each other as if they were in mission impossible.

"So you're the Milkboy"

"And you're a 16 year old who plays guns with tree branches at 5:00 in the morning"

"I'm fourty-two"

A loud cry was heard from Tidus as they continued to fight

"Sora you dumbass! your 15!'

"thanks alot tidus! you just gave away my secret identity!"

Riku remained still as Sora eyed him one more time with his adorable pout on his face. Riku's turquiose eyes blinked as he noticed that the Brunet's face was flustered and red.

"Name, age sex and location! Now"

"What are you a robot or something?"

"Just answer the question or else ill pull this trigger and all the people in the morning wont have any milk to have with their Oreos"

"Riku, 16, still a virgin and no never with you, the ghetto"

"That's not what I meant about the sex!"

"Enough is enough if you walk away ill walk away"

As Riku said this he grabbed his milk jugs and continued to walk to the doorstep. Wakka chuckled as Riku shook his head.

'What's up with him?'

Riku stepped his foot on the doorstep and his other foot in a looped rope. The next thing he knew he was upside down hanging off of the light that hung over their door

"What the hell?"

Wakka laughed as Tidus stood amazed the fact that girls could set up traps and he mumbeled "it worked it worked" over and over again. Sora simply sighed and walked into the house.

_'selphie you got your wish'_

"A little help guys?"

With that the other two boys walked into the house leaving Riku all by himself.

"Shoot"

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**yay chapter 2 done!  
**

**P.s I love you Sai-ryo Aura Feana thank you for being my first reviewer!**


	3. Revenge from Stacy!

**hello!! chapter 3 is here!  
**

**Sai-ryo Aura Feana- don't we all? And yeah sadly the 4 little girls might not get to see em cause Sora may feel a little bit guilty! Maybe? I really don't know but that's what I am thinking right now it may change! And yeah you are an awesome first reviewer! I was wondering… what do you want for your prize! (I usually give out prizes for being the first happy reviewer like characters to be in the story love paring ex) ummm yeah! So there thanx for reviewing!**

**ShadowCatLeader- you will see! In all time my dear! Yeah thank you for reviewing and I love all the questions! I like to answer em!**

**Sweatthangpaige- hah I know! They are uber childish! He he Riku is freaked out about that too! And I am putting em up!**

**BelovedRiku- Yay! I know you! You review on my other story! Yay! I m so happy! I will check out your story once I finished writing this chappie!**

**Thesrazrbladekisses- I am! Here see! Haha I love your stories!**

**Xarli- I love Elvis! I can just imagine Riku impersonating him**

**- I have a question for all! Should I make this an RxS? Just curious I have so many options-**

**So there ya! I DO NOT OWN KINGDOM HEARTS…but I can dream… and I used this one part from this web site( w w w. Albinoblacksheep .com /flash/ strawberry .php )well the link is going to be in my profile so if you don't understand the part where Axel wants the strawberry just go to my profile or type in that address excluding the spaces umm and sry but ther wont be leon or Cloud in this chapter cause i am kind of having probs writing with them in it! all little help? some ideas? idk just pwease help  
**

**Chapter **3

_Selphie stood on dock with a poupo fruit in her hand. Next to her was a silver haired hottie holding the poupo fruit too. They were both smiling and Riku's other hand was on Selphie's back._

_"I love you milkman"_

_"I love you Selphie"_

_"Are you sure that you want to share this paupo fruit with me?"_

_"I never realized I loved you so much until I was kidnapped, Selphie I am not sure I know! The moment I looked into your emerald eyes I have been hypnotized in your love"_

_Selphie squealed to this and hugged him. They grabbed the fruit and broke it in half. As Riku began to bring the fruit to his mouth something started to bubble from the water. Puzzled, Selphie looked over the dock and saw a chestnut haired friend lung at her grabbing the fruit from her hand._

_"Sora NOO!"_

_It was over in an instant and the two boys gulped down the poupo fruit. The two awequardly stared at each other and Riku opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Sora scratched the back of his wet hair and mumbled to himself_

_"Oops that wasn't supposed to happen…."_

_The three stood their dumbfounded until a voice came out of nowhere_

"SELPHIE WAKE UP WE HAVE A BIG PROBLEM HERE!"

Selphie looking up, noting that the charming handsome milkman was now replaced by the great ninja Yuffie. Yuffie smacked her to make sure that she was awake, although her eyelids were already open. Selphie was irritated, but relived that it was all a dream.

"What Yuffie is the problem?"

"Look. At. Kari. And. Namine!"

Selphie glanced over to see the two girls in a very suggestive position. She then looked up to see that Yuffie legs were wrapped around her. Shrieking she got off of Yuffie.

"Yuffie! It was the guys!"

"I know! How are we going to get their hair unattached?"

"What?"

"Their hair is stuck to each other"

"Oh DAMN YOU WAKKA AND HIS STUPID OBSESSION WITH SUPER GLUE!"

"He is so dead!"

"Yuffie we will get revenge later. Right now we got to fix the problem before they wake up!"

"Yeah I can't stand Kari when she screams!"

**

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Out side in the doorway

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**

Riku was bored, hungry and tired. It had only been 45 minutes since the guys had left him and a few cats were coming into the milk truck. Sighing loudly, he tried to grab his pocketknife in the back of the pair of boxers but it was no use. He needed help.

Riku cringed to these words. Help? Bah! He was not a weakling! He could do this on his own!

He felt for the pocketknife and had luck, momentarily. He tried to grasp it but it fell out of his hands and was now on the door mat just inches out of his reach.

"Damn"

After a 5 minutes of squiggling around to reach the pocketknife a beat up rustic blue jetta pulled up to where the blue mansion was. Relived Riku smiled at the shape of a girl that was shown through the tinted windows. She paused and looked at the flailing boy as he tried to explain the situation

'Thank god! It's a woman!' "Oh my god you got to help me miss I was delivering milk when all of a su-"

The person got out of the car and Riku frowned. His eyes widened as the old lady walked to the boy holding a cane in a very threatening way.

"Old ladyI-I mean miss Stacy uh what are you doing with that cane?"

"Somthing i should have done a loong time ago! now give me back my cat!"

The old hag began to beat the boy with her cane until she tired out and dropped her cane. Riku sighed in relief until he noticed a certain red haired fellow in a black cape walking toward her with a silver bat with a huge in deant from what appears to be a skull. The ninety year old gasped and grabbed the cane once again to attack the mysterious foe.

"Get away from me death! I still have 10 more years to go"

"Ten more years of hell if you ask me"

Riku was hit with the cane once again in the face. Axel chuckled hollowly and handed Stacy the metal bat.

"Here this might be a little more effective if you ask me"

"Why are you giving me this?"

"Why are you giving her this?"

"Quiet you!"

Riku whined again and the old lady smacked him with the silver bat.

"Ouchh"

"Because you see I too hate Riku and I think it would be rather fun to watch Riku being beaten by an old helpless lady than a strong prince like me"

"Axel is this cause I wouldn't give you that strawberry?"

**

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Flash back (Riku age 10, Axel age 11)

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**

It was a fine day at dare care, the weather was warm, but that didn't help with the events that took place today. It was around lunchtime and Axel was really hungry. So hungry that he in fact would murder anyone just to get his favorite food, strawberries. At this age Axel was an innocent little boy unlike Riku, who was corrupted and was going through his rebellious faze. The two had barley met but there was still the classic behavior of Riku picking on Axel. Axel walked into the kitchen and stooped to unfortunately see Riku standing in the kitchen opening the fridge to get a strawberry. Riku knowing this was Axels favorite food grabbed it and smirked at the Red haired boy.

"You want the strawberry? You cant have it!"

"But I want to have it" Axel started to cry as Riku began to laugh

"Your just a stupid little baby man"

"mwaah I want a strawberry"

"Your stupid"

"I am not stupid "Axel was still crying as Riku continued to tease Axel

"Yes you are" Riku began to talk in a sweetish yet reassuring voice

"No I m not! I'm not stupid anymore"

"But you are"

"noo imm not"

Riku stuck out his tong as he grabbed the strawberry

"nahnahnananunu"

"stop saying those silly words"

"nahahanahaha"

"I don't like those words. I don't like those funny words"

Axels face turned red and he began to scream as he held out a huge baseball bat!

"IM NOT STUPID! IM NOT STUPID GAHHHAAAA!" Axel took a huge breath before continuing to scream, Riku stood Shocked and unprepared for Axels response. He was defenseless and Axel had a huge silver bat. "AHHHHHH" all that Riku could respond to this was his jaw that was wide open

And axel took his huge baseball bat and clunked Riku in the head sending him to the floor. Breathing heavily Axel Dropped his bat and grabbed the Strawberry and skipped off.

"Oh my god"

**

* * *

Flash back is over time to go to the present!

* * *

**

"We had some good times batty"

Axel began to psychotically stroke the bat as the two gawked at the man. Even the old hag had stopped beating Riku to stare at him.

"What's that Batty? You make the bad people go away when I hold you? Ok I will hold you as long as it's ok with Stacy?"

Stacy nodded

Axel grabbed the bat and swung it at Riku hardly. He let out a pain of cry as Axel began to smile

"That felt good!"

He continued to smack Riku and the old lady left thanking the man for finishing the job.

**

* * *

35 minutes later after 259 horrible whacks to Riku's body

* * *

**

"Riku? You want the bat?"

Riku wearily nodded

"You cant have it!"

Axel laughed triumphantly and continued to beat Riku

**

* * *

Tidus's house

* * *

**

"Ha I win! Go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby"

"Shut up Tidus you know I would have beat ya if DK wasn't such a slow player and you stole my power!"

"Go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby…"

"Well I can't blame me losing! I can blame Pikachu! I hate you Pikachu"

"This is stupid! I quit"

"Ok so maybe I don't hate pikachu"

"Go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby go Kirby"

"Are you guys even listening to me?"

Ok so the three boys were geeks. Video gamers who have dreams every night about their favorite game hero saving their damsel in distress. Well actually only Wakka was like this but Tidus still was a video game junkie. Every time Sora came over he would get his butt kicked and pouting the rest of the time until he would win aka Wakka and Tidus wouldn't try so that the baby would get his bottle.

"Sora wait don't quit!"

"I am so sick of losing! This is so boring I wish-"

Suddenly a loud shriek was heard and Tidus and Sora looked over to Wakka but it wasn't him. They then looked over to the girls window and heard the screams of one girl they all knew too well

**

* * *

Namine's house

* * *

**

"MY HAIR! YOU CUT MY HAIR" Kari screamed as she looked at her once long hair. It was now short and was above her shoulders.

Yuffie stood next to her holding the pair of scissors and a few clumps of blond and auburn hair.

"I'm sorry Kari we had to do it. Your hair was super glued to hers. It was the only way to fix it!"

Namine stood besides her holding her shoulder. Some of Namine's hair was cut short, but it kind of made it look better than before. Selphie was at the window shooting evil glares at the three boys across the way.

"YOU!"

The red haired man ducked down and started to cry. Sora opened their window and shouted to Kairi

"WAKKA SAYS HE IS SORRY!"

Kairi simply glared at Sora back and then walked towards the three (as close as she could they are in two different houses)

"You three are dead you hear me DEAD! You better watch your back cause I got a few connections that would be happy to take you out, especially you Sora!"

"Why me?"

**there ya go chapter 3! thanks !**  



	4. escape & dont look back ohwait too late

This story is so old.. That I think I may be too old to type on this computer with out falling over or doing stuff old people do, hah well anyways thank you so much reviewers! oh and i also edidting some thiongs about the previouse chapters..Sorry it is so late :(

Chapter Four

"Why me?"

As Selphie glared at Sora through the window she blinked. Sora blue eyes were having a war against Selphie's and he seemed to be loosing. Sora's lips moistend and he knew if it's a war she wants, it'll be a war she gets. Selphie watched the glimpse of Sora's hair leave the window before chasing after him.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT SORA!!"

Kairi and Namine were left to stare at the girls. Wakka placed his hands over to project his voice to Kairi

"KAIRI I DON"T THINK I LIKE YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS, I THINK YOU SHOULD GROW IT OUT!"

Kairi's face twitched as her fists tightened. Feeling the hate he shifted uneasily

"You know, just trying to look out for mi fellow peliirojos"

Wakka and Tidus shrieked and ran into the bathroom waiting for Kairi to explode. They locked the bathroom door and plugged their ears.

"She's gonna blow!!"

**Run Sora Run! ( Sora's prospective)  
**

Sora running down the hallway fast slid down the stairway. He sprinted outside to see Riku still hanging, upside down. He grabbed the pocketknife that had fallen on the ground. Riku opened his eyes to see Sora's pants two inches from his face.

"What are you doing here little buddy?"

Sora stared down from his cutting of the rope. His face tinted red before speaking.

"He's not a little buddy.. more like a big size of Okalahoma buddy."

Sora cut the rope suspending Riku in the air. He fell hard to the ground and Sora laughed a hah before continuing with his new mission: save Riku to get back at Selphie.

"I'm here to save you now come on!"

"Any thing to get me away from the crazy white bitch" (referring to Namine)

A loud scream was heard from above. Sora grabbed Riku's hand and hoisted him up. Sora looked at the bruises randomly patched on his bod_y. ' I wonder what's that from'_ he thought.

Sora and Riku ran from Namine's house screaming bloody murder. Sora picked up a random twig and inspected it while running. Riku turned to Sora.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking the ammo of this baby! When I shoot Selphie I want it to be a clean cut. What where is Selphie any ways? Oh wait that's right probably trying to be pretty for you when she comes out side to get you.."

That moment a loud slam was heard from Namine's house. Sora and Riku slowly turned to see Selphie running fast like superman to get to the two boys. She leapt over obstacles in her way as if she was terminator in terminator III. Sora squeaked and grabbed out his twig he aimed it at Selphie who was now two meters from the milkboy and Sora.

"FIRE!"

He threw the twig at Selphie; it fell to the floor useless. Riku smacked his forehead and smiled in a fake manor. "Well Soda, this has been fun, but I gotta be on my way." He stridded past the twig and moved carefully around Selphie. Selphie smiled and turned her head to one side.

"Oh Milkboy, we aren't even close to being done yet…" She whispered.

"Riku! RUN!!" Sora cried.

Selphie lunged at Riku. It reminded Sora of the moment on 'Flavor of Love' when 'New York' attacked 'Pumpkin' or if you have never seen 'Flavor of Love' in your life, Like a lion catching her handsome prey. '_Wait handsome?_' Sora thought.

Riku fell to the concrete face first. He turned his body around to get up, but Selphie pinned Riku and held his arms with hers. Riku's body felt hot and he blushed while Selphie giggled. She grabbed a white cloth drenched in nail polish remover and placed it over Riku's mouth. He struggled from breathing in the fumes while Selphie focused placing pressure on Riku's lips. His eyes screamed in pain before closing them and going limp.

Sora backed away from the situation carefully with his mouth ajar. He walked backwards from the twig and moved around the corpse and Selphie who was now stroking his silver hair. '_cre--epy'_. As he was just about to reach the house, Selphie got up with the rag in hand and walked toward Sora.

"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?"

Sora's backward walking quickened before he fell over clumsily. Looking for anything to save him, he grabbed another pistol (twig) and threw it at Selphie who was now one foot away. It pierced through her brown hair and she stopped in progress to see where she had been hit.

"You. Are. So. Dead."

She crawled on Sora's body and gagged Sora causing everything to go black.

**In the locked bathroom**

"Well since were stuck here, now what?"

Wakka looked around Tidus bathroom. He opened the drawer to find some 'Old Spice' deodorant.

"Hey look some deodorant!"

Wakka spread the deodorant under his arm and Tidus snatched it from Wakka before he could spread it under his other arm pit.

"Hey that's mine! "

"Sorry geeze I just wanted to smell good since we are going to be stuck in here for a while."

"Good thinking"

Tidus spread the deodorant under both of his armpits. The two sat in silence shirtless while thoughts ran through Tidus head '_straight.straight.straight.straight."_

The other boy, Wakka, decided to voice his thoughts instead. his nose perked cautiously, "Hey does its smell like cream cheese in here?"

The two looked at the old spice that could clearly tell had been replaced with cream cheese. They then glanced under their arms

"NOOOO!! " Tidus screamed

"Its so hard and ouch!! It hurts to get out!"

They both stared at the razor left by the sink. Wakka gulped as a tear fell from Titus's eye.

**Yeahhhh!! There another chapter!! I'm happy and I hope you're happy with the chapter I wrote! this Story will not die! not yet! sudjestions welcomed and greatly nneeded!  
**

Love dark blue dark blue!


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